Out of the mouth of Babes

Today Gabi was sitting on the potty, stalling as usual, and she yelled to me in the other room, "mama, you teach me, guide me, walk beside me?" With a smile I replied, "Yes, honey." And then she said, "And help me find the way?" I said, "Yes, honey, of course I will."

As she said this I thought about the sacred responsibility we have as parents to answer the call of our children and to teach them, guide them and walk beside them and help them find the way. We live is such a crazy and difficult world, and our children need us in a very real way to navigate their way home, eternally. The primary song "I am a child of God" is one of my favorites- it helps me to remember the importance of being like a little child in the innocence, humility, and acceptance that little children have.

Inner Peace

Recently we watched Kung-Fu Panda 2- I have to admit I am not a huge Jack Black fan, okay, I'm not a fan at all, so even watching an animated movie where plays the voice of the main character was less than appealing to me. That being said as we watched the movie I found some very profound truths in there. In the beginning Master Shifou is telling Po that the final lesson of Kung Fu is finding inner peace. Each person finds it in a different way, but once it is mastered your potential is increased. Throughout the movie Po is dealing with flashbacks from his childhood and discovers along the way a lot about his past, who he really is, and who he is meant to become. A couple of things that I pondered on were 1) When the world sends the waves of life rocking our boat, how do we react to that, how can we learn to deal with the rocking boat and continue on our journey, and 2) We all have that discovery process of self in this life and we have a lot of people who help us on the way. We all are children of God who have a divine purpose here on earth and we have things that we all need to accomplish on this earth, each very unique and differen,t as we strive to become more like our Savior, Jesus Christ in hopes to one day return to him.
When I was on my mission my sweet little sister sent me a letter and a note card that contained this quote by Bishop H. Burke Peterson, "One of the greatest challenges is to overcome the feeling that we are unimportant, that we are not special and unique. Do you think for a moment that Heavenly Father would have sent one of His children to this earth by accident, without the possibility of a significant work to perform?...
My dear friends, you are a royal generation. You were preserved to come to the earth in this time for a special purpose. Not just a few of you, but all of you. There are things for each of you to do that no one else can do as well as you. If you do not prepare to do them, they will not be done. Your mission is unique and distinctive for you. Please don’t make another have to take your place. He or she can’t do it as well as you can. If you will let Him, I testify that our Father in Heaven will walk with you through the journey of life and inspire you to know your special purpose here." (New Era, May 1979, pp. 4-5) I kept that note card and nearly 6 years later I still reflect on it often. I know each of us has a divine purpose here on earth, we truly are a royal generation, I know this is true.
As I've contemplated on "Inner Peace" or being at peace lately I've really tried to understand what it means to acquire peace and to let it flourish in my life. It hasn't been easy and I'm only just beginning. I often imagine myself standing on a boat staring off into the distance enjoying the sunshine, turning around for just a moment only to see a storm looming overhead, wondering what I'm going to do- metaphorically speaking, of course. Life can be hard, the waters rocky and toss us to and fro. Amidst adversity how can we still remain at peace? Marvin J Ashton said,
"Certainly peace is the opposite of fear. Peace is a blessing that comes to those who trust in God. It is established through individual righteousness. True personal peace comes about through eternal vigilance and constant righteous efforts. No man can be at peace who is untrue to his better self. No man can have lasting peace who is living a lie. Peace can never come to the transgressor of the law. Commitment to God’s laws is the basis for peace. Peace is something we earn. It is not a gift. Rather, it is a possession earned by those who love God and work to achieve the blessings of peace. It is not a written document. It is something that must come from within." (Oct 1985 Conference address)
I know I have a long way to go, but I enjoy those peaceful moments when everything in the world seems just right. The worries and stress aren't gone forever, but they seem to melt away, and I am left feeling sunshine on my face and the feeling that through God all things are possible.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good.
We had Madi's doctor's appointment today, and it went pretty well. She's 12lbs 6oz and 24 1/2 inches long. She's following her growth curve, which is exactly what we want to see. We also had an x-ray taken today. The results showed that there is less fluid in her left lung, and the heart and trachea are back within "normal range." All in all, our prayers continue to be answered. We didn't have to make a trip to Boise today, thank goodness! Per our discretion we are able to reintroduce breast milk again, and wean her off the yucky formula.

The Bad.
Not really too much to report here, I just thought the title was catchy. :) We are sad that there is still some fluid in her lungs, but as long as it continues to improve, we are good to go. There is some worry with reintroducing breast milk; and that is if her body doesn't tolerate it, her lungs will start to fill up again, which is the reason we are so hesitant to take this next step. The doctor said that Boise recommended to wait 2-3 months. When he called Boise to ask for a more definite time period, 2 or 3 months, they said "yes. " Basically there isn't a whole lot of research done on this to really know an exact time period of how long these things take to heal, so it's really up to our discretion. No pressure, right?

The Ugly.
On a lighter note, I seem to be suffering from post-partum balding. Haha! Seriously, though, I'm losing hair like crazy! I think I might start wearing a hat when I go out, thank goodness the weather is cooler, or how else would I explain that! I was complaining tonight to Isaac about it and he said, "I don't know why you're acting so surprised, this is exactly what happened last time." True, but can't a girl complain! Seriously, a woman's body goes through a lot when she is prego and has a babe. I still don't think I'm fully recovered from my first babe. It's sure worth it though!
For all you ladies who have had two plus kids, you have to read this post! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! (I say two plus kids because let's face it, the first kid was way easier to bounce back from!)

Thanks again for all of your love and support!

By Small and Simple Things

Yesterday I was going through old mission pictures and letters. It was a lot of fun looking back on my mission, and being able to recall some pretty amazing and wonderful experiences. As I was looking through some letters I happened to find a page that had been ripped out of a coloring book. I unfolded the page to see a carefully colored picture of an ant that was putting up a piece of wood, a support beam. The caption on the page read, "Little pieces of wood helped hold up the walls." I didn't give this picture any thought beyond how sweet it was that a young child in one of my areas had taken the time to color and give me this picture. They may not know or understand the magnitude of what was written on those pages, but I think I now do. "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass" (Alma 37:6.) Like the ant in the picture, the beam he was putting up was quite a bit smaller than the other ones in the picture, but by putting up that piece of wood, it helped hold up the walls. "Little pieces of wood helped hold up the walls." Those little pieces of wood are the small and simple things of life.

I want to thank all of you for your love and support in regards to Madi these last few months. We have felt your love and your prayers. Simple things like a smile, calling to see how we are doing, prayers, and several other things have all contributed to where we are now. All of these small things truly have made, "great things come to pass."

We have another doctor's appointment this Thursday for Madi. At this appointment they will take a chest x-ray to see if there is fluid in her lungs. If there is, there is a possibility that we will need to return to Boise for her to once again have a chest tube put in (they say the pain that she will feel is similar to dislocating a rib). If this is the case, we don't know how long we will be there for. I am very nervous about this, considering all we went through before. We are hoping and praying for the best. I would be so grateful if you could keep Madi in your thoughts and prayers this week, and especially on Thursday. Thank you again for all you have done.

Refiner's Fire

This morning, for no apparent reason, I was lying in bed thinking about some dishes Isaac and I had when we were first married. They were beautiful stoneware that were a deep blue in color on the edges, and faded to a cream color in the middle. We purchased these dishes shortly after we were married using a gift card. They were expensive. We loved these dishes, and we loved having company over to use them because everyone always commented on them. We didn't own very many nice things when we were first married, so we took pride in taking care of these dishes.

Unfortunately, much to our disappointment we soon discovered that these dishes broke very easily. At first we were mad at ourselves. We needed to be more careful. After all, these dishes were one of the nicest things that we owned. We made every effort possible to take better care of the dishes. It worked well, until more broke. We went back to the store, sad, upset, and frustrated, prepared to buy a new set. The people at the store were extremely nice and offered to exchange them for us at no extra charge. We gladly took them up on the offer, resorting to the fact that we must of had "bad luck" with the other ones.

Home we went with smiles on our faces, and new dishes in our hands. Everything was going well, until the dishes started to break again. Once again frustrated, we returned to the store, which had no problem with exchanging our dishes again, stating that it actually happened quite frequently with these dishes. When we asked why, she said that these specific dishes are actually fired at a lower temperature for a shorter amount of time, making them more brittle. Astounded, and relieved that we weren't complete klutzes, we opted to exchange them for different dishes. The dishes we have now are plain in style and color. There is nothing fancy about them. They were fired at much higher temperatures and for much longer, fortifying and strengthening the material. In the two years that we've had them, we have dropped them several times, and yet all that has been broken is one plate.

As I thought about these dishes this morning, I thought about life, and how life is our refiners fire. The trials that we go through test what we're "made of" and strengthen and fortify our very being.

"In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiners fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong." James E. Faust (The Refiners Fire)